In a Catholic school restaurant, a nun puts a note in front of a pile of apples, “Take only one. God is watching.”
Next to the apples, there is a pile of cookies. A little boy writes his own note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”
A student stops a car and asks the driver,
“Can you take me to school?”
“Sorry, I’m going in another direction,” says the driver.
“Super, take me there!”
“Kids, what does the chicken give you?”
“Meat!”
“Very good! Now what does the pig give you?”
“Bacon!”
“Great! And what does the fat cow give you?”
“Homework!”
“Johnny, give me a sentence that starts with I.”
“I is…”
“No, Little Johnny. Always say I am.”
“All right… I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”
A girl handed in a short story for her English class. The instructions were simple – the story had to be about religion, sexuality and mystery, and it had to be as short as possible.
Having received the marked paper, the girl rejoiced. She was the only student to get an A+. This is what she had written:
“God! I’m pregnant – I wonder how that happened…”
There is a boy. He is in the first year of high school. He is going to the school ball. He wants to dance with an older girl at the ball. He asks her, but she only answers:
“I don’t want to dance with a child.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you are pregnant.”
One early morning, a mother is trying to wake up her son.
“Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school!”
“But why, Mom? I don’t want to go.”
“Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go.”
“Well, the kids hate me, and the teachers hate me too!”
“Oh, that’s no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.”
“Give me two reasons why I should go to school.”
“Well, for one, you’re 52 years old. And for another, you’re the PRINCIPAL!”