Long Live the Married Men – Level 2
A recent study shows that men who are married live longer than single men. However, many of them want to die.
Alcohol Joke – Level 2
Doctor: “I am not sure why you are not well. I think it could be the alcohol.”
Patient: “That’s OK. I will come back when you are sober.”
Ten Things I know about You – Level 2
1) You are reading this.
2) You are human.
3) You can’t say the letter ”P” without separating your lips.
4) You have just tried it.
6) You are laughing at yourself.
7) You have a smile on your face, and you have just skipped number 5.
8) You have just checked if there is number 5.
9) You are laughing at this because you love having fun.
10) You are probably going to send this to your friends.
Friends in a Pub – Level 2
A man in a pub tells his friends:
“Before the wedding, I spoke and she listened. After the wedding, she spoke and I listened. Now, we both speak and the neighbours listen.”
Joke about a Bed – Level 2
Peter goes to a doctor.
“Doctor, I’ve got a problem,” he says. “Every time when I get into bed, I think that there is somebody under it. I look under the bed and I think there is somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. I think I am crazy!”
The doctor thinks for a moment. Then he says, “Come to me for 2 years. Come here three times a week and I will help you.”
“How much will I pay?” Peter asks.
“A hundred dollars for a visit,” the doctor says.
Peter says, “I’ll think about it.”
Peter never visits the doctor again. Sometime later, he meets the doctor on the street.
“Why didn’t you come to visit me again?” the doctor asks.
“A hundred dollars for one visit? It’s expensive for me. A barman helped me for 10 dollars.”
The doctor is shocked, “What did he do with you?”
“He told me to cut the legs of the bed.”
OOPS?! – Level 2
Jerry was in hospital. He was recovering from his surgery. A nurse asks him how he is.
“I’m OK, but I didn’t like the four-letter-word the doctor used during the surgery,” he answered.
“What did he say?” asked the nurse.
“OOPS!”
Before an Operation – Level 2
A patient asks the doctor:
“What will happen if the operation is not a success?”
“Don‘t worry. If it isn’t, you won’t be able to tell.”
A Nice Dress – Level 2
“Mummy, you have such a nice dress. Where are you going in it?”
“I’m going to the theatre to see Romeo and Juliet.”
“But you’ve seen it 5 times!”
“Yes, I know, but not in this dress.”
On the Way to School – Level 2
A student stops a car and asks the driver,
“Can you take me to school?”
“Sorry, I’m going in another direction,” says the driver.
“Super, take me there!”
Man Is Talking to God – Level 2
The man: “God, how long is a million years?”
God: “To me, it’s about a minute.”
The man: “God, how much is a million dollars?”
God: “To me it’s a penny.”
The man: “God, may I have a penny?”
God: “Wait a minute.”