Chinese vs Japanese – Level 1
Why do Chinese eat more than Japanese?
Because there is more of them.
Man Wants to Live 100 Years – Level 1
“Doctor, I want to live 100 years. What can I do?”
“Do you smoke?”
“No.”
“Do you eat too much?”
“No.”
“Do you go to bed late?”
“No.”
“Have you got any lovers?”
“No.”
“So why do you want to live so long?”
Man in the Desert – Level 1
A man is dying. He is very thirsty. He finds a well in the desert.
He screams, “Water! Water!”
And the well echoes back, “Where? Where?”
Sleep-Talking Husband – Level 1
“Doctor, my husband is talking in his sleep! All night! What can I do?”
“Let him speak during the day!”
An Old Man at the Doctor – Level 1
An old man goes to the doctor. The doctor says, “I have your test results. I have bad news for you. You have cancer and you have Alzheimer’s.”
The old man says, “It is not so bad. I don’t have cancer!”
Balanced Diet – Level 1
What is a man’s idea of a balanced diet?
A beer in each hand!
Dogs Are Watching You! – Level 1
Every Snack You Make, Every Meal You Bake, Every Bite You Take I’ll Be Watching You!
Love at First Sight – Level 1
Why do men like love at first sight? It saves them a lot of time.
Blonde Secretary Reads the Diary – Level 1
The boss asks his blonde secretary, “What is in my diary this week?”
The blonde secretary answers, “Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday…”
Joke about a Bed – Level 1
Peter goes to a doctor, “Doctor, I have a problem,” he says.
“When I sleep in my bed, I think that there is somebody under my bed. I look under my bed and I think there is somebody on my bed. On, under, on, under. I think that I am crazy!”
The doctor thinks for one minute. Then he says, “Come to me for 2 years. Come here three times in a week and I will help you.”
“How much will I pay?” Peter asks.
“One hundred dollars for a visit,” the doctor says.
Peter says, “I will think about it.”
Peter never comes back. After two weeks, he meets the doctor on the street.
“Why didn’t you come to visit me?” the doctor asks.
“One hundred dollars for one visit? It is expensive for me. A barman helped me for 10 dollars.”
The doctor doesn’t understand, “What did he do with you?”
“He told me to cut the legs of the bed.”