Two Farmers – Level 1
Two farmers are speaking, “I want to buy this sheep, but it is too expensive!”
“Yes it is, but look at its coat! It is 100% wool!”
Driving School – Level 1
An instructor in a driving school tells his student, “Tell me, how does the motor work?”
“Can I use my own words?”
“Of course.“
“Vroom, vroom.”
Where Is Your House? – Level 1
Police: Where do you live?
Me: I live with my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live?
Me: They live with me.
Police: Where do you all live?
Me: Together.
Police: Where is your house?
Me: It is next to my neighbours‘ house.
Police: Where is your neighbours‘ house?
Me: I‘ll tell you but you won‘t believe me.
Police: Tell me…
Me: It is next to my house…
Homework – Level 1
A teacher is talking to a student.
Teacher: Does your father help you with your homework?
Student: No, he does it all by himself.
Ghost – Level 1
A: What room does a ghost not need?
B: A living room!
At the Doctor – Level 1
“Doctor, I think there’s something wrong with my eyes.”
“I think so too. This is a post office.”
The Married Men vs. the Bachelors – Level 1
Why are married men fat and bachelors are not? The bachelors go to the fridge. They see nothing that they want, and then they go to bed. Married men go to bed – they see nothing that they want, and then they go to the fridge.
A Mouse – Level 1
A: I’m in big trouble!
B: Why is that?
A: There is a mouse in my house!
B: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap.
A: I don’t have a trap.
B: Well, buy one.
A: I don’t have any money.
B: I can give you my trap if you want.
A: Great. Thank you.
B: All you need to do is just put some cheese in the trap, then the mouse will come to the trap.
A: I don’t have any cheese.
B: Okay, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil on it and put it in the trap.
A: I don’t have oil.
B: Well, then put only a small piece of bread.
A: I don’t have any bread.
B: I don’t understand. What is the mouse doing at your house?!
Women in Leather – Level 1
Why do men like women dressed in leather?
Because they smell like new cars.
An Old Dog – Level 1
A man has a big garden around his house. An old dog comes to his garden. The dog looks at the man and then lies down next to him.
When the man stands up and walks to the house, the dog walks behind him. When they are inside, the dog jumps on the sofa, closes his eyes and sleeps for one hour. Then he wakes up and walks to the door. The man lets the dog out.
The next day the dog comes again. He jumps on the sofa and sleeps for an hour. This is happening every day for three weeks. The man wants to know why the dog comes to his house. He writes on a piece of paper these words, “Every afternoon your dog comes to my house and sleeps for one hour on my sofa.” Then the man puts this piece of paper on his collar.
The next day the dog comes with a different piece of paper on his collar. It says, “He lives in a home with four children. He needs some quite place to relax. Can I come with him tomorrow?”